Embracing Authenticity Through Gestalt Therapy
"Every day you spend living inauthentically, you forget what you need to remember. Every day spent living authentically, you spend remembering what you need to forget."
I feel like this is the best explanation I could come up with to capture the concept of authenticity in a nutshell. Authenticity is a very vast concept that people often struggle to fully understand. Especially nowadays, with the pace society is running at we find little to no time to reflect on abstract thoughts and reflections. We are living in a society where it is easier to conform and copy rather than stand out and create. How can I find authenticity if I'm living in a society that frowns upon it?
So I use the above quote to give clients a simple mantra they can use when trying to find their authentic selves.
Forgetting What You Need to Remember
When we live inauthentically, we tend to forget the things that truly matter. We lose sight of our core values, our passions, and the essence of who we are. We get caught up in playing roles that others expect of us—whether it's the perfect employee, the ideal parent, or the ever-accommodating friend. This forgetfulness leads to a disconnection from our true selves, creating inner turmoil and a sense of loss.
Gestalt therapy, founded by Fritz Perls, teaches us to bring awareness to the present moment. It’s about tuning into our thoughts, feelings, and actions as they happen. By doing so, we can start to notice the ways we live inauthentically and begin the journey back to our true selves.
"Awareness in itself is healing" Fritz Perls
By bringing thoughts, feelings, emotions into awareness we are healing. When we find ourselves in survival or functional mode we often tend to bury these thoughts and emotions in our subconscious - because we are not trying to heal, we are trying to survive. However, we can come to realise that it doesn't have to be just one way or the other. In fact, it is necessary to focus on healing while we are surviving if we want to start living (Authentically).
Remembering What You Need to Forget
On the flip side, living authentically means reconnecting with our true selves and, interestingly, remembering to forget the unnecessary baggage we carry. This means letting go of the roles and expectations that don’t serve us and embracing our true desires and values. By living authentically, we honour our core beliefs and values and find a sense of fulfilment and peace.
When we are living in a society that is forcefully pushing agendas, beliefs or numbness into our daily lives, it is our responsibility to remember what we need to forget. Even when we do feel like we are being our true authentic selves, we have to continue questioning our way of living and remind ourselves of thoughts, emotions or beliefs that are being imposed on us and not necessarily belonging to us. Therefore it is important for us to actively try and push out ( forget) things that are affecting our sense of self in our daily lives.
Here are five practical tips from Gestalt therapy to help you live more authentically:
Practice Mindfulness: Take time each day to be present. Engage in mindfulness exercises, such as meditation or deep breathing, to help you stay connected to the here and now. This practice will heighten your self-awareness and keep you grounded.
Explore Your Feelings: Give yourself permission to feel your emotions without judgment. Whether you’re experiencing joy, sadness, anger, or fear, acknowledging and expressing these feelings is crucial for authenticity.
Identify and Challenge Unhelpful Patterns: Reflect on behaviors or thoughts that keep you stuck in inauthentic living. Once you recognize these patterns, work on challenging and changing them. Question their origins, understand their impacts, and consciously choose to act differently.
Express Yourself Honestly: Communicate your true thoughts and feelings with others. It might feel scary at first, especially if you’re used to avoiding conflict or pleasing others. However, honest communication builds deeper, more genuine relationships and strengthens your sense of self.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to things that don't align with your values or drain your energy. Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining your integrity and ensuring you have the space to be yourself.
Living authentically is a journey of both remembering and forgetting. It's about remembering who you truly are and what you value, while forgetting the roles and expectations that no longer serve you. Gestalt therapy provides a powerful framework for this journey, offering tools and techniques to help you embrace your true self and live a more fulfilling, authentic life.
Take a moment today to reflect on how you can start living more authentically. What do you need to remember about yourself, and what unnecessary baggage can you forget? Your journey to authenticity starts now, and it’s a beautiful path to walk.
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